Where there is smoke....

I went for a run today after not running for about three weeks. It hurt like hell...but running for me is a good hurt. I ran about 2.5 miles and it felt like 6! Its amazing how good you feel after a run though.
I was a smoker for the last 10+ years and quit October 17 2008. I don't miss it at all!! I have had so many trying situations this past year where I could have easily given in and smoked but I never wanted to be a smoker and so I never will smoke again. When I quit my ex M was a HUGE help. He would call me and check in with me to make sure that I was doing okay, he bought me the gum and wrote me a card a day saying how proud of me he was. It was really the support I needed to get through the first two weeks. After that it was all on me. When I was a smoker I didn't care that it was bad for me. I didn't care that it was killing me. I didn't care about myself or anyone else. I was a smoker that would light up in the car with non smokers in it...I didn't care. My car, my rules. Now.....the smell alone makes me sick. So to all the people that I have grossed out, made smell and offended with my smoking I am truly sorry and I will guarantee you it will NEVER happen again.

I think I will run three to four times a week again....I owe it to my lungs and it makes me feel great.....it is time for me to feel great

And Go.....

I'm writing this blog because after dating someone for the last year I find myself back the square one. It is a good to be out of the relationship but I still don't feel 100% out. Unless the person cheats or does something that you cant forgive it is hard to just walk away or at least for me it is. I know that this person was not a good match...but i find myself missing all the good and overlooking all the bad. I try to tell myself that in the last year i have cried more than anyone should cry in a life time...that is not good. I was built up and then broken down. I have to keep telling myself that there is some one that is a better fit. Someone that wont make me feel bad about myself...for being myself. I hope that this blog will provide an outlet for me and some insight for others....

"Many are miserable because they are in love with things that should not be loved, and they become even more miserable when they enjoy them" Saint Augustine